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brave_souls
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Name: Hilary
Birthday: 8/17/1984
Interests: overseas. exploring. adventures. islands. horses.taking lots of pictures. caffe mochas. walking alone. driving to the beach at night. shooting stars. the moon. music. music. andy davis. james taylor. smoking cigars.roadtrips. art. reading well written books. writing. van gogh. old books. old photographs. hooded sweatshirts. pirates. tree houses. old movies. audrey hepburne movies. dark chocolate. skylines. harley davidsons. '69 camaros. '71 chevelles. bridges. mountains. cities. boston anything. poetry.cowboys. ships. kayaking. jumping off of very high things. driving fast. laughing. family. best friends.
Expertise: Adventurer.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Media
Message: message me
AIM:  hilzers17
Member Since:
6/27/2005
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| "they don't know you anyway.
they don't know you and they don't watch you walk away.
just a nobody girl."
i came here to be freed.
and i didn't realize how far i was going to have to reach inside to find the key.
i shudder at the questions i am having to answer to myself.
and then having to wade through the lies and ties to find what my Lord is saying.
a question i have always been too afraid to ask:
do you think i am beautiful?
i don't want to wait to hear the answer.
i close my heart and ears before i ever hear a response.
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| i am sitting out on the lana`i (porch).
in the golden evening light, my very favorite.
staring at a forest of bamboo and mangroves.
its windy on the mountaintop, but below is the valley
and a very pretty, if distant, ocean view.
this is a hawaii like you will not see in pictures.
this is a hawaii you will never see as a tourist.
this hawaii is very wild, remaining untamed.
the people are strong willed and independent.
and at the same time, very connected to the community,
and to their ohana (family) and their ancient tribes.
the people still depend on the fishponds, (500-1000 yrs old).
as well as the deer (imported from india as a gift to the king)
and the wild boar for their food.
the beaches are never crowded, only locals really.
even in the good surf spots, you usually have the place to yourself.
the highest sea cliffs in the entire world are just five minutes from me.
in fact, my house is basically perched on the backside of one of them.
one of the three volcanoes that make up the backside (north shore) of Molokai.
i can see how people fall in love with this place.
if my family and friends were here, i would too.
but having that close community is what keeps the natives here.
and i'm learning that without that community, no place,
no matter how beautiful or adventure-filled, can ever replace that.
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| it's scary to finally get to some place new
and find out that the thing that
you've been running from
is yourself.
and to realize that there is a time
when hope is diminished, when it is lost.
and wonder what that is supposed to mean now.
i came with expectations to carve a new life, a new love, in a new place.
but i know now, i have to face the past. face myself. before that can ever happen.
and scariest of all:
i have to be alone with God.
and i have to listen to what He is telling me. | | |
| it feels like a perfect summer night.
i'm sitting out on the lawn in the dark.
there's a sleeping little baby boy beside me.
i've been babysitting for my friend's nephew.
i have two more finals left in my undergrad degree.
it feels weird, i never really thought i'd make to the end.
and in these last months i have made some really beautiful friendships.
it seems ironic that now is when i would finally be leaving lynchburg, va.
but in case you didn't know, i'm heading to hawaii.
and i am confident that there will be many more beautiful nights like this ahead.
and i also believe that there will be new and different and beautiful friendships there.
whatever is ahead, i know it will be so good for me to just be able to get alone with God.
i think the most accurate word to describe how i have felt these past four years is this:
caged.
"she must and shall go free." | | |
| i'm in FL on spring break.
let me tell you of our adventures so far.
first we were in pawley's island, sc. stayed with my uncle pete and heard some good stories. on the way there we got stuck in traffic on an old country road. the traffic was this old man. on a moped. weighing a good 400 pounds. overalls and goggles and all.
from pawleys island we headed south. saw a sign for Folly Beach, and figured, why not check it out? spent sunday there. looked for empty houses we could tent at. but somebody told us about this really cheap campground where you could "primitive camp" so thats what we did. made a fire. and fought off this raccoon and fox that were co-conspirators in a plot to steal our marshmallows. seriously, they kept circling us. we'd throw a stick, they'd come back. one would walk up real close, so we'd turn to chase that one away, and then the fox would be right there.
so from folly beach we headed south on 17 again, through charleston and beaufort and right by hilton head island, which actually made me pretty homesick for my childhood. i have such amazing memories of growing up there. on the beach with my dad. forts with davis.
south of jacksonville we arrived at hanna park. it is gorgeous. beachfront camping. [i'm ripping wireless off from an rv behind us] the beaches are beautiful and practically empty and i can't tell you how good it has been for me to spend 3 days at the ocean. monday night we went into st. augustine to explore. i got coffee at a little shop and started talking to the guy who worked there. he knew people at Lu. he told us that if we came back later they were having live music. we did. what he didn't tell us was that live music meant "rythm & rhyme" night. percussions and poetry. it was sooo cool. everyone was involved. this guy goes to africa and brings drums back- so that's what we played. jenna and i got to play drums. they tought us different beats- samba, congo and rasta. at the end we closed with marley's redemption song. the people were so fun. it was good.
yesterday morning, we walked out on to the beach and there were five mexicans sitting on a blanket smoking hookah and playing cards. i really wish marcello could have seen that. sooo funny.
beach all day yesterday. i prayed a lot and read and it was so nice to be able to do that without having things hanging over my head.
this morning we head south again. cocoa beach area. adventures yet to come. | | |
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